I’m without a job right now, and I’m just about to head down Commercial Drive to canvass the local cafés for work. I only need two or three days a week to cover everything, and really that’s all I need and want, so hopefully it won’t be too difficult. I’ve also signed-up at an office temping agency, so hopefully that will yield a few days work.
Without boring you with too much detail, things in Vancouver (as far as the basics like accommodation and employment go) have not been very successful, ever since I arrived in September last year. It feels like I’m constantly trying to dig sideways and clear a path up to solid ground, and every few feet I get shoved deeper into this hole. In sum, it seems like Vancouver and I are just not resonating very well with each other, at this point in time. I am, simply, not feeling settled at all.
It’s not all bullshit, though—not by any stretch. I have made some amazing friends, plus I’ve been spending quite a lot of high-quality time with an intelligent, gorgeous and delightful woman, who, brilliantly, is named Randi. And, this continuous ‘digging’ has also led me into yet another re-evaluation of where I’m going and what I’m doing with my Life; basically, after feeling kind of stagnant for the last few months, I am once again feeling re-invigorated. Again, without boring you with the introspective details of how I got here, let me break it down for you…
[Cue thoughtful background string music, with montage of biological cellular growth and division]
A man walks down the street, hands in his pockets. He is aware of all the other people, his brothers and sisters, sharing with him the pavement and the oxygen and the light. He recognises his connection to all things and people and animals and plants—his connection to the whole world.
He looks ahead, his eyes instinctively navigating the sidewalk, while his concentration is far away in space and time, thinking, sensing, analysing his own feelings and responses and comparing them to the responses and apparent feelings of others, seeing how they fit together and relate to each other. Slowly, he begins to find order in the apparent chaos. He finds many possibilities and probabilities, and allows them all to have validity. He also knows that none of them may end up as the reality, and none of the outcomes he predicts may come true at all, and he accepts that, too. He simply feels better about having given things some conscious attention.
He runs again through his shopping list to see if there is anything he may have forgotten. There is a momentary turn of fear in his belly as he imagines forgetting a key ingredient for tomorrow’s dinner. Then he reminds himself that if he forgets something, then he is creative enough to cover it up. In fact, it may just turn out to be an opportunity to create something new and interesting. He comforts himself by this coverage of all the possibilities.
He turns a corner onto a busier street with a wider sidewalk, and a strong wind catches his breath in his mouth, making him swallow. He thinks about things he has done in the past, and what he has learned from those experiences, and what he will do better in future. He thinks about neglected opportunities and poor choices, and he chides himself for his moments of meandering stupidity or laziness. Momentarily, he frowns at himself. On the street, perhaps someone sees him and wonders at the frown; perhaps not.
He remembers that his mistakes and neglected chances are not just his; they are everyone’s. The opportunities he misses to create and give something to the world are a net-loss. There is a pang of shame and guilt at this thought, and a resultant fear of future chances being missed due to his oversight, distraction or inaction. Really, he fears not having the courage to recognise good opportunities when they present themselves, and to act decisively upon them. This is a fear that dogs him, and has done for his whole life, despite that life being filled with many decisive actions and boundless creativity. And somehow he believes it is not enough; that he is not good enough. He feels as if he has lacked any solid direction, and even as he has done and seen and been part of many wonderous things, that he has not yet Mastered anything and created something Worthy of that. He demands more from himself, and steels his resolve to take more chances; to be alert to more opportunities; to give more to the world… and to feel worthy. Worthy of what? Worthy of love, of course. Worthy of recognition, and acceptance.
SoS: Mach 3 was BEYOND EPIC. It’s 1:30pm the next day and I am still buzzzzzzzing… The punters loved us; we had a queue outside at 1:30am while Marshall Law was playing; Mike the owner was there most of the night despite saying he was going to leave early; and he is dead-keen to have SoS back again soon. The vibe was so indescribably positive… Loads of punters thanked us for our sets and we had a full dancefloor from about 11pm until 3am. We knew we had the concept sold when there were whoops, whistles and cheers during the breakdowns…!
The concept? “Participatory, Interactive Rave.” This is our vision of Rave Culture upgraded for the 21st Century.
The S.o.S. CyberBuddha
I’ve worked in bars & restaurants for almost 15 years, so I think I can say with some authority that I know what people are looking for when we go out on the weekend: We’re looking for a sense of community—a sense of belonging. We spend hours of our time and dollars of our money on disinhibiting liquors in order to be around and make contact with other human beings in a social setting. What we’re doing with S.o.S. is overtly encouraging people to make those connections.
We sought to bring some of the founding principles of Burning Man / Kiwiburn to the rave scene of Wellington, such as participation, inclusion, radical self-expression, gifting, etc. Generally we were just looking for the kind of party we’d all like to go to, yet weren’t finding available. So we did it ourselves. We put on a free gig, and got some really friendly points of difference put into play. We sought to implement some of the Good Things that we experienced at various burns into our mainstream, “default” world; and, we sought to demonstrate that it could be done without the need for a lot of money, or fake hype, or big-name artists—just by doing what we love. This is our Sense of Community… and we invite you to be a part of it.
This is possibly my best mix yet. There is actual mixing happening, and I’m starting to play around with mixing loops from the tune playing in, into the tune playing out. Having four decks on Traktor Scratch Pro is also pretty choice, because I can then set up three different loops and start mixing those in on the playing track at various points. While I haven’t attempted that on this mix, I will be on upcoming ones.
I recorded this as a sampler for the upcoming Speed of Sound: Mach 3 interactive music night, to be held by a bunch of friends and I at San Francisco Bath House here in Wellington, on 17 June… wOOt!
SoS: Mach 3 will be a hugely interactive music experience, and as much as possible we’ll be integrating social networking applications, crowd-interactive visuals, and whatever else we can come up with. The décor will also get a lot of effort put into it. There were some utterly cool ideas being bandied around last night at our first planning/mixing meeting, and it’s really stoking me out.
Basically, it will be a geek’s paradise – with extra added doof-doof bliss!
We even have a Lindy Hop DJ opening for us at 7pm!
As I babbled about here, I had a soul-ticklingly fantastic time at Kiwiburn six weeks ago, and part of that gleeful mirth came from DJing my first live gig.
I’ve had some issues since then getting various softwarez and hardwarez to work properly on my laptop, but I finally have enough stuff working to get out this mix of tunes that I played during that first set. There are one or two replacements and additions, but it gives you a flavour for what went down.
There are even mistakes! And sketchy transitions! Close your eyes, and it’s just like you’re right there, pashing people in the corner or jumping up and down, sliding around in the mud. :)
Okay: I could go totally sideways in the soppy+sappy department here about all the insanely, rib-ticklingly goodvibey stuff that has been happening recently, but I’ll opt to keep it relatively simple for the sake of those of you who actually read my meandering tripe. Suffice to say that I am unbel*IEV*ably happy right now.
This may seem quite a stark contrast to some of my other posts over the last few months. Don’t worry, I still hyper-analyse everything and I still think it’s about 50/50 that we’re all going to die within the next century or so in an unimaginable environmental apocalypse, but never mind that right now. Today I am happy. Today I feel full and satisfied, and strangely optimistic about the near-to-medium-term future.
